Make your Ceremony Unique and one that you will remember forever!
Making your wedding vows
Everything about Vows made easy and everything you need to know!
Firstly take the pressure off when making your wedding vows! Don’t try and remember the vows as on the day you will be too nervous. It just adds an extra dimension of stress and pressure that you don’t need! You can read them or get me, or your Celebrant to read them first and then you repeat after me. Emotion can be put into your delivery because you will not have the pressure of trying to remember!
Tear inducing vows can also be delivered, that are not sourced from your own actual words. You don’t have to re-invent the wheel! There is so much to do, so no need to start from scratch. With our help below the day will be full of romance and love!
Wedding Vows are Key to Your Wedding Ceremony
Your Wedding Vows, in my humble opinion are the most important and most special and beautiful part of any marriage ceremony. Ultimately they are the promises you want to pledge to each other for the rest of your lives together. Hopefully they are the words which reflect your hopes and dreams together, your love and your special connection. You may fall back on your words for many years to come, to remind you of the commitment that you have made to each other. They are the foundation for your marriage.
No pressure right? For many, writing personal vows is a very daunting task. That’s where a good celebrant comes in.
Don't try to Remember your Wedding vows!
(Only for the very Brave)
That cringeworthy moment when Ross from Friends mistakenly name dropped Rachel during his wedding vows to Emily – and ended up seeing his new marriage doomed from the outset.
Have a vows date night!
Plan a special Vow date night and spend some time beforehand writing down separately the following points:
- What marriage means to you?
- What values/belief systems you want to instil in your marriage?
- What sort of wife/husband you want to be?
- The dreams you have for your future together?
- What you want to bring to your partnership to ensure it is the best it can be?
Then on your date night share each of your pieces of paper with each other. Here you have probably the most precious thing you will ever write. See how many points are the same and talk about which ones mean the most to you. Then narrow them down to the points that matter the most to you both and script them as promises to each other. I can help you at any stage along the way. Speak from the heart and your wedding vows will be heartfelt.
Surprise Vows!
Keeping your wedding vows a surprise can make for a really unique and special moment in your ceremony. The reaction on your partner’s face when they hear your beautiful words for the first time is priceless, both for you and your guests. Be sure the photographer knows to capture it on camera! However, if you do decide to go with this approach, I recommend you set some guidelines, such as the approximate length and whether to include humour or not. Saying that, don’t worry too much that each of your vows may have a different tone or talk about different elements of your relationship. Your vows reflect your personalities and your unique union, and therefore, will always be perfect. If you do decide to go for the surprise option, I recommend sending your vows to me or your Celebrant for review. That way, I can provide feedback if I think there is any great discrepancy in length, tone etc. and you can decide whether to revise or not without ruining the surprise.
Make a promise...
You spent time crafting meaningful vows so reading them will make life easier on the day. Further you can put your energy into the communication of them to your loved one. Once they are read from the heart essentially you could say almost anything and it will be fantastic.
This will work if your vows are short. Give them to me or your Celebrant and we will read them to you so that you can repeat and give them meaning.
This is only for the very brave! On the day it is only natural that you will be nervous and trying to remember your vows is only adding extra pressure! If you do go for it, have them printed out with you also. This will take the pressure off and you can be more “in the moment”.
Once you have written your vows...
Do you want to?
Remember, if you speak from the heart, whatever you choose will be Perfect!
Don’t wait until moments before the wedding to scribble your vows down on a scrap of paper – the results will not be pretty! If you’re struggling to come up with something good in the weeks before the wedding, don’t procrastinate – maybe brainstorm with a friend who’s good at these things. And don’t feel guilty about plagiarising – there are plenty of great ideas on the internet!
Sometimes you can make your wedding vows over-complicated and incomprehensible. It may be because couples are trying to replicate something they’ve seen in a wedding template. The key thing is that you want your partner and your guests to be able to understand what you’re saying. Take the time to make it personal and special – you don’t want eyes glazing over!
Very few of us are natural speakers, who can hold the room spellbound. It’s easy to mess up the words! Don’t be afraid to have the words written down in front of you – you could always add to the pomp and ceremony by propping them inside a fancy looking book. And practise, practise, practise. That way you’ll get to know which are the trickiest bits and know to slow down when you’re coming up to them. Further if there is a particular word or phrase that in practice is tripping you up, take it out or change it! They are your Vows!
The informal may sound like a fantastic idea but this is a wedding ceremony, with witnesses and guests. So don’t be that couple that delivers too much information in their wedding vows! Nobody really wants to hear ad lib stories or personal stories that only make sense to you two!
Racing through your vows
Trust me on the day you will be nervous! You may have butterflies so important to get them in flying formation! You have your vows and you’ve got the security of having them printed out!
The delivery is all you have to do now! Knowing that you will be nervous means that you will naturally speak faster than you normally do. It’s almost like your body wants to get this over with asap! So speak slowly, more slowly than feels comfortable, pause frequently. Trust me, your delivery will be amazing!
GIVE YOUR CELEBRANT YOUR VOWS
Give a copy of your vows to me or your Celebrant, also give them to your Bridesmaid/Best Man. Have them printed out so that there is no danger of them being lost on the day!
Finally, keep calm and carry on! You may be feeling a bit emotional but you need to be audible and comprehensible and if you take my advice, you will be!
Don’t let your emotions prevent you from saying what you want to say. If it all becomes too much, take a few breaths, compose yourself, consult your bit of paper and go slowly.
Yelling!
Do practice in front of a friend beforehand as you want to get your pitch right! Will there be amplification or a microphone? Definitely no need to shout! You may be over-excited on the day but don’t over-compensate. You want to be just like Goldilocks- just right!
Crying!
I know, crying, but there is a good chance that you may shed a tear! Make sure you have tissues or know where they are! Also have one of your Bridesmaids on hand to a quick repair job if you do have a streaming blob of makeup, tearing down your face! Then you will be ready for the next part of the ceremony!
Look at your partner!
Some people get so overwhelmed with it all that they forget to connect with their partner. Not everyone will notice if you forget to make eye contact, but your other half will. Grab their hand, look at them and don’t forget to give a little smile to reassure them!
Enjoy the day!
This might be the most difficult things to do! On the morning it is really important to take a breath. You have done all the planning, you have spent probably more than you wanted to and the only thing left is for you to enjoy the day! Unfortunately the bigger the wedding the more important it is to do this for yourself. More people, more complaints!
But you cannot do anything else. The day will unfold as it should and if something goes wrong, it doesn’t matter! It all adds to the unfolding of the day. Don’t fret or stress. You may have gone into real detail in the planning but on the day the most important thing is that you are marrying the one you love, you live (hopefully) happily ever after!